Mar 23 - FOX NEWS: “Did Trayvon Steal the Candy and Tea?”

Fox News anchors and hosts are beginning to ask fair and balanced questions about the Trayvon Martin tragedy, and today the nation’s most popular news source is reporting, “no receipt was found by investigators for the candy or the tea Martin was menacing at George Zimmerman when the neighborhood watchman was forced to defend himself.”


The revelation came this morning on Fox and Friends during an interview with Bill “Bull” Lee, who has temporarily stepped-down as Sanford Chief of Police in order to act as Zimmerman’s official spokesman. Lee told the cast of the popular morning show, “After we stripped the dead suspect and tested him for drug and alcohol use and then dug under his finger and toe nails for any incriminating DNA, we checked his blood-soaked clothes for any kind of evidence of wrong doing. All we found was 34 cents and a couple of baseball cards.”


“That’s it?” Gretchen Carlson asked dismayed. “Seems to me that something was obviously missing: why wasn’t there a receipt for the pop [sic] and candy?”


“We at the Sanford Police Department asked the exact same question, Gretchen,” Lee explained. “We concluded that the suspect must have stolen the candy and tea, and in my mind that bolstered Mr. Zimmerman’s self-defense claim. A criminal brandishing his stolen goods can be quite threatening when you’re following him in your SUV with a nine-millimeter, semi-auto handgun loaded with a full clip of hollow-point ammo.”


Carlson, in her classic journalistic style, stayed on the scent: “So were the baseball cards found on Martin of any value?” she asked. “Do we know if the family has produced a receipt for those?”


“To this point,” Lee answered, “the Martin family has refused to cooperate on that matter. However, I do know that Mr. Zimmerman believes that baseball cards were once stolen from him.”


This new line of investigation has echoed throughout the Fox News line-up. Bill O’Reilly stated, “Candy and tea and baseball cards, but no receipts? Liberals can’t explain that. New twists to this case are bound to continue to turn-up as Fox News investigates the real reality of what happened in Sanford.”

Source

its sad that Id be surprised if they didn't say something like this[pic]
Good old Fox News making something not political, and taking a shot against "liberals" You can't explain not having a receipt? Yeah if you're an idiot maybe you can't. Lots of times I throw the receipt out right away for small purchases like that, or other times dont even get one. Also, He had change in his pocket, could that not have been change from the purchase? Great investigative journalism FOX[pic]
And Gretchen Carlson is a miserable twat.

and once again even if what is being said is EXACTLY TRUE (which we dont know if it is). doesnt change the fact that zimmerman didnt have ONE GOOD REASON to do what he did...NOT ONE

and a receipt for an arizona and skittles? who holds on to that !!

lol exactly...and for !!s and giggles, lets say he stole it. Does that give him the right to shoot him? FOX News never fails[pic]

If I pay cash I tell the cashier to keep the receipt, if I pay credit I look at it for a quick second then immediately throw it away. These people are crazy

[pic] I hate that !!.

You guys do realize this is purely satirical, right?

Although I could see how many could[..]ume that these statements are purportedly true considering they are "reportedly" from Fox News. You know, the most biased and obtuse news organization on the planet.

LaBresha Johnson

[pic]

This !! is fake [pic] Read through the entire article, guys. Not even Fox news can put this BS out with a straight face.

Even IF this is true, it's relevant in what way?

Half the time I tell the cashier that I don't want the !!ing piece of paper.

Who the hell keeps a receipt for anything under like $200?

[pic] I do...but not for some !! I cop at the corner store.

oh, I guess it is Satire lol. This !! shouldn't be posted in this section then, that's why I[..]umed it wasn't satire.