'Workaholics' Recap: The 21 Best Quotes From "Real Time"

Laser tag.

by Terron R. Moore
Senior Editor
On Jul 18, 2012

Workaholics is arguably best when it makes the highest stakes out of the most ridiculous situations and goes full throttle towards being as dramatic as humanly possible, and "Real Time" might be the best episode ever when it comes to making a goddamn burrito the most tragic story element of all time. After the boys leave a bunch of angry message on boss Alice's voicemail, it's a race against time to beat her to the office and destroy the evidence. But with the gang so dangerously close to being hungover, it's a dash to stay drunk—and that Jillian chick nor those vicious teen biker girls are helping anything. The 21 most hilarious quotes:

Workaholics | Ology

		"I told my boss I wanted to cover her in Cinnamon Toast Crunch dust and secks HER." "She's a freakin' trick[..] beyotch, that's what she is." "You're dumb. And no one loves you." "You're not looking so good." "Doubt it." "It was just cans!" "It was a MEXI-CAN!" "I just thought that maybe you should… stick a fork up your butt and eat poo cuz' you're a !!head!" "Why aren't you getting laid?! Is your va-jay-jay webbed?!" "I'm not gonna be the one tworkin' her if she treats me like that. And I'm a great tworker. You gotta move your hips like a figure 8." "!!, you got too many teeth in your mouth!" "The doctor prescribed some GO JUICE!" "Suck my di-i-i-ass!" "He said 'ass!'" "!! are rad! Not yours, though! I bet they're concaved!" "Don’t act like you never passed out in the street with roller blades before!" "You give out laser pointer key chains and you expect us to be adult enough not to play with 'em? Are you thick?" "Energy drinks and beers! WHERE?!" "…All over the store? Everywhere?" "One time I heard you queef. SLAMMMMMM!" "She just flipped me off. That wasn't nice." "Just the coffee? Why don't you show me your tampons?" "She doesn't even deserve one ounce of your twork." "Jason Bateman blades. Shaq doesn't own a car, he blades a lot." "I WATCHED dishes. I didn't wash them."

'Workaholics' Recap: The 21 Best Quotes From "Real Time" | Ology

best episode of the season and possibly of the show. right up there with to catch a predator.

Funniest show I've watched in a long time

!! direct tv ive missed two episodes

"!! you got too many teeth in your mouth"-Blake

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Episode was amazing, it's definitely top 10 workaholics episodes.


Funniest show of all time.