'Total Recall': What the REAL Critics Are Saying

The remake of "Total Recall" has done something pretty impressive -- made critics nostalgic for Arnold Schwarzenegger.

As an actor, the former California governor rarely received much in the way of rave reviews, but most of America's top critics said that the original version of Philip K. !!'s science fiction thriller, which starred Schwarzenegger, had an over-the-top flair that the current incarnation lacks.

With a lowly 31 percent rotten score on critics aggregator Rotten Tomatoes, the new film has collected more pans than praise. Twenty years later, with a heap of "Recall" knock-offs like David Fincher's "The Game" still fresh in the mind, the film is getting knocked around for being a tired retread of overly familiar themes.

"Total Recall" stars a slim-waisted Colin Farrell, trying his best to replace Ahnuld's brawny shoulders, along with Jessica Biel and Kate Beckinsale. Len Wiseman (“Underworld”) takes over the directing chores from Paul Verhoeven (“Showgirls”) for this go-round. It opened in theaters on Friday.

In TheWrap, Leah Rozen credited Farrell with adding a "mischievous twinkle" to his performance, but found the rest of the film generic and lazy.

"Five minutes after walking out of this 'Total Recall,' you’ll be hard-pressed to recall a moment of it," Rozen writes.

Christopher Orr, writing in the Atlantic, agreed that the movie essentially boils down to one long chase sequence with none of the wit of !!'s original short story.

Also read: 'Total Recall' Review: Over-Hyper Remake Will Make You Totally Recall Ahnuld's Version

"I was no particular fan of the first Total Recall, but I confess that this flat, by-the-numbers remake made me a tad nostalgic for its b0mbastic preposterousness, the high-tech Halloween masks (the movie actually won an Oscar for its special effects) and conjoined telepaths and Considuh daht a divhorce," Orr wrote.

Also finding it difficult to muster any enthusiasm was The New York Times' A.O. Scott, who said that Wiseman had tossed aside a chance at political allegory in favor of explosions and general cinematic b0mbast. He also faulted the film's manic approach to exposition.

"So much information is thrown at you in such a haphazard fashion that your ability to care dwindles along with your willingness to enjoy any of it," Scott wrote.

The Washington Post's Jen Chaney agreed that the film shouldn't make any ten-best lists, but unlike Orr she found it to be an improvement on Verhoeven's vision. In particular, she cited Farrell's more naturalistic take as a nice contrast with Schwarzenegger's less-than-nuanced interpretation of the lead role.

"As Quaid, Farrell displays an ever-evolving combination of bewilderment, terror and über-confidence as a man with no idea how he learned to handle ammunition, yet capable of firing guns while doing an action-hero gymnastic routine," Chaney writes. "He brings realism to a hyper-real situation, something that eluded Schwarzenegger the first time around."

Also finding more to love than lament in the remake was the Chicago Sun-Times' Roger Ebert, who praised the action sequences, but ultimately said they couldn't match the pleasures of the original.

"Total Recall' is well-crafted, high energy sci-fi," Ebert wrote. "Like all stories inspired by Philip K. !!, it deals with intriguing ideas. It never touched me emotionally, though, the way the 1990 film did, and strictly speaking, isn't necessary."

'Total Recall': What the Critics Are Saying | The Wrap Movies

Mad cheesy CGI = this film will suck.

OG Recall wins by default.

I'll watch it on Redbox or something maybe, I'll have low expectations, so if it's anywhere near decent it will impress me so we'll see.

Illuminati everywhere.

I knew it was gonna be bad but DAMN!! I was going to go see tonight too, oh well I'll checkout Netflix

!! that noise I'm going to see this.

It was good... [pic] Critics are snobnish chicks at times

I said the same and came out the theater wanting to go to Recall. Naw its not complete garbage.

REAL critics...shots fired

[pic]

should have never remade this movie in the first place

the original was so fun....this remake looks like a high school vice principal who takes his job too seriously. thus, this nicca will pass on this.

When you see Jessica Biel, you should know instantly that its going to suck. Kate Beckinsale is usually good, Colin Farrell is hit or miss but Biel's movies are always awful.

[pic] [pic] [pic]

Exactly. Every remake nowadays is, "darker, and more serious." !! is retarded, it makes every movie the same, just diff face and story but same vibe, and design. The original was fun because it was just out there, this one is taking itself way too seriously.

They took out the main thing the original had going for it, the sci-fi story was dope too (another P.K. !! story) but we already know the story, so that element of surprise is taken away too. So since the fun, and weirdness is taken out, and the story is old and known, all it has going for it is new CGI effects. Lame.

this.....

Saw it on saturday. It was entertaining. Wish it would have gone in depth about his character. Lots of fight scenes but had me wondering why it was so drawn out. Colin farrell did a good job.

The Game was a sick movie. thats all i have to say

[pic]

Yea it tried to be TOO SERIOUS. I don't really care for the original though [pic] only thing I really liked was the fact Arnold couldn't act. It made the movie straight campy.

I was kinda like [pic] when I heard it doesn't take place on Mars.. That was one aspect from the original I enjoyed (I know the original short story didn't take place on Mars either, but still).. That element added something to the original IMO

i agree...

saw it yesterday after I saw it's bad reviews on Rotten Tomatoes, and I gotta say, yeah, it wasn't great, not that memorable, but it wasn't a bad film or anything...

It could've used better dialogue and more graphic violence... make it rated R and take it to the next level on mutha!!as...

it is what it is..

fixed