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'Jersey Shore' Season 5 Premiere: 10 Best Quotes of the Episode

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 'Jersey Shore' Season 5 Premiere: 10 Best Quotes of the Episode
topic by Steve - 01-06-2012, 12:16 AM



Jersey Shore returned with a fist pump on Jan. 5, with fans tuning in to see MTV's resident guidos and guidettes triumphant arrival to the states.

As the housemates settle in to their storied Seaside Heights home, family and friends gather at a nearby bar for a surprise party. Mike "The Situation" Sorrentino, struggling to redeem himself with his roommates, winds up bunking with Ronnie Ortiz-Magro and Sammi "Sweetheart" Giancola in their old room -- a move none of them seem to be happy about.

Sitch and Nicole "Snooki" Polizzi continue to exchange barbs over what may or may not have happened that fateful night in Los Angeles, while the pint-sized guidette aims to keep her beau, Jionni, as far away from Stich's pal Unit, an alleged "key witness," as possible.

VIDEO: 6 Best f!ghts on 'Jersey Shore'

Once we move beyond the leftover Italian storyline, we are introduced to a new level of homesickness for Vinny Guadagnino, who begins feeling depressed and contemplates leaving the Shore. No surprise there, as we've seen him pack up his things and head off in a cab via promotional previews already.

In terms of zingers, Ronnie was on his A-Game this episode, as was (as usual) Paul "DJ Pauly D" Delvecchio. Read on for the 10 best quotes of the show and click here to see what the cast told The Hollywood Reporter about what's to come on the remainder of season 5.

PHOTOS: MTV's Jersey Shore Italy In Production

What was your favorite quote of the night? Weigh in in the comments section below.

1. Pauly D: "Me and Vinny are so excited, that Vinny immediately jumps on my bed and like, dry humps me on my bed just like old times."

2. Pauly D: "The first thing I want to do now that I'm back in America is I want to go tanning. I'm as pale as a ghost. I'm almost as white as my teeth."

3. Mike: "This is a serious situation right now. We're losing weight and we're getting pale. It's like the end of civilization."

4. Ronnie: "Vinny's hair, it's like a mixture between a mulle,t a mohawk and a faux hawk. I don't even know what to call it. But it looks good on him."

5. Ronnie: "Uncle Nino is the ultimate creep. I feel like he should be in this house with us. Honestly, he should get the smush room."
[Related - Uncle Nino: "Oh, Snooki Cookie Bella!"]

6. Mike: "This is Hurricane Situation and its headed straight for Snooki Island."

7. Sam: "Oh my God, let's be real. I just feel like Mike has gay tendencies… This is just so weird. Mike normally wifes up his grenades this way. Is he doing that with Unit?"

8. Pauly D: "Ryder's looking good tonight, but she already had s3x with Vinny. And I'm not really cool with Vinny's sloppy seconds, so I don't really know what to do with her. But, I don't want to be rude. So, whether you're the first man in or the last man in, ride her."
[Related - Ronnie: "I'm not into sloppy 23rds."]

9. Deena: "Vin's in a funk since the surprise party and I feel bad for him. I don't want anybody in a funk, because their funk puts me in a funk because they're in a funk and I don't want anybody to be in a funk."

10. Jionni: "I met [Mike] twice, he came up to me he goes 'Bro, your'e the nicest guy I ever met.'"
Snooki: "Why does everyone say that to you? You're not that nice."
'Jersey Shore' Season 5 Premiere: 10 Best Quotes of the Episode - Hollywood Reporter


The following 2 BX residents gave props to Steve (Sent To 8,180 Subscribers)  Agentzer0oo0 (01-06-2012) , HEAT HOT TOPIC (Blog'd,RSS'd,Tweet'd and Facebook'd)  (01-06-2012)

41 comments for "'Jersey Shore' Season 5 Premiere: 10 Best Quotes of the Episode"

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 01-06-2012, 01:11 AMaway - #2
GUNIT-FINEST  space
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the Rider sh*t was funny. I am sure ppl she knows rite now are blowing her up she a hoe fu*ked everyone in the house except Ron... And she prob did that sh*t off cam
 01-06-2012, 01:53 AMonline - #3
Agentzer0oo0 167 heat pts167 space
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Originally Posted by GUNIT-FINEST
the Rider sh*t was funny. I am sure ppl she knows rite now are blowing her up she a hoe fu*ked everyone in the house except Ron... And she prob did that sh*t off cam
Man that bi*ch is a SMUT

Shawty was dressing something reals.lutty too
 01-06-2012, 01:56 AMaway - #4
I KILL TREES 11 heat pts11 space
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Dudes still watch this sh*t
 01-06-2012, 03:41 AMonline - #5
Krazie 96 heat pts96 space
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Originally Posted by I k!ll TREES
Dudes still watch this sh*t
fu*king right we do.. It's entertaining.. That's what I watch TV for. I seriously hope they recast for next season like what I've heard though, I can't stand Mike, Sam, Deena or Snooki anymore.. The others are okay with me, but those as*holes gotta go.
 01-06-2012, 01:44 PMaway - #6
KillaJ008 4 heat pts space
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i never thought we would see a bigger douche than Mike on Jersey Shore....but then we see The Unit.
 01-06-2012, 01:51 PMonline - #7
theFREAK 1226 heat pts1226 space
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The Unit is dat dude
 01-06-2012, 02:11 PMaway - #8
GUNIT-FINEST  space
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The Unit is that Dude fu*k wat yall talking about. I knew snooki was a damn lie idk why dude still with her must be for the fame and money she a super hoe to
 01-06-2012, 02:54 PMonline - #9
dagame04 8 heat pts space
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The Unit just didnt give a fu*k... sh*t was funny... SHow is still entertaining but its hard cuz all them cats millionaires.
 01-06-2012, 03:26 PMaway - #10
Jeet Kune Do 9 heat pts space
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Originally Posted by KillaJ008
i never thought we would see a bigger douche than Mike on Jersey Shore....but then we see The Unit.
cosign lol
 01-06-2012, 03:31 PMaway - #11
Deeangoe 2 heat pts space
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boughta watch in a couple :dancingcool:
 01-06-2012, 03:40 PMonline - #12
Agentzer0oo0 167 heat pts167 space
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Originally Posted by T. Marinovich
The Unit is dat dude
Originally Posted by GUNIT-FINEST
The Unit is that Dude fu*k wat yall talking about. I knew snooki was a damn lie idk why dude still with her must be for the fame and money she a super hoe to
Originally Posted by dagame04
The Unit just didnt give a fu*k... sh*t was funny... SHow is still entertaining but its hard cuz all them cats millionaires.
Thissssssssssssss. People not realizing this sh*t is entertainment. Why are y'all latching on to them like they fu*ked your girl

Mike, Pauly, The Unit, all are entertaining.

The Unit is that dude forreal :dancingcool:
 01-06-2012, 03:48 PMaway - #13
waytoomuch 2 heat pts space
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wait wait, who the f**k is the unit again??
 01-06-2012, 04:21 PMaway - #14
minimeblunts  space
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Originally Posted by Agentzer0oo0
Thissssssssssssss. People not realizing this sh*t is entertainment. Why are y'all latching on to them like they fu*ked your girl

Mike, Pauly, The Unit, all are entertaining.

The Unit is that dude forreal :dancingcool:


and most of them arent even ITALIANS... SO ppl who say they are giving us a bad name... FALL BACK AND GETCHA FACTS STRAIGHT!

 01-06-2012, 04:29 PMaway - #15
HennyHeat 4 heat pts space
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The Unit reminds me exactly of this kid I know.... Guido dude who is shady as fucck, and puts on such an act... Snooki was foul for calling him out but it was prob the exact truth

Dude walklin around like his life is a movie its hilarious... All tanned and prob took all sorts of roids and fat burners

Guido chasin chicks are so shameless these dudes exploit the fucck out of dumb bi*ches
 01-06-2012, 04:50 PMaway - #16
kbz 1 heat pts space
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the unit about to fu*k all this sh*t up in 2012
 01-06-2012, 05:04 PMaway - #17
Freemind 41 heat pts41 space
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gonna have to find a download for this
 01-06-2012, 05:48 PMonline - #18
J_Clarity13 91 heat pts91 space
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Originally Posted by Freemind
gonna have to find a download for this
u can stream it
 01-06-2012, 06:05 PMaway - #19
dg177bx 25 heat pts25 space
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Please go away forver!
 01-06-2012, 06:09 PMaway - #20
I_REP_VA 6 heat pts space
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I don't watch this show anymore but Sammie is sooo bad..
 

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