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'Jersey Shore' Season 5 Premiere: 10 Best Quotes of the Episode

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 'Jersey Shore' Season 5 Premiere: 10 Best Quotes of the Episode
Unread 3 years agoclass of '06 - away - #1
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Jersey Shore returned with a fist pump on Jan. 5, with fans tuning in to see MTV's resident guidos and guidettes triumphant arrival to the states.

As the housemates settle in to their storied Seaside Heights home, family and friends gather at a nearby bar for a surprise party. Mike "The Situation" Sorrentino, struggling to redeem himself with his roommates, winds up bunking with Ronnie Ortiz-Magro and Sammi "Sweetheart" Giancola in their old room -- a move none of them seem to be happy about.

Sitch and Nicole "Snooki" Polizzi continue to exchange barbs over what may or may not have happened that fateful night in Los Angeles, while the pint-sized guidette aims to keep her beau, Jionni, as far away from Stich's pal Unit, an alleged "key witness," as possible.

VIDEO: 6 Best f!ghts on 'Jersey Shore'

Once we move beyond the leftover Italian storyline, we are introduced to a new level of homesickness for Vinny Guadagnino, who begins feeling depressed and contemplates leaving the Shore. No surprise there, as we've seen him pack up his things and head off in a cab via promotional previews already.

In terms of zingers, Ronnie was on his A-Game this episode, as was (as usual) Paul "DJ Pauly D" Delvecchio. Read on for the 10 best quotes of the show and click here to see what the cast told The Hollywood Reporter about what's to come on the remainder of season 5.

PHOTOS: MTV's Jersey Shore Italy In Production

What was your favorite quote of the night? Weigh in in the comments section below.

1. Pauly D: "Me and Vinny are so excited, that Vinny immediately jumps on my bed and like, dry humps me on my bed just like old times."

2. Pauly D: "The first thing I want to do now that I'm back in America is I want to go tanning. I'm as pale as a ghost. I'm almost as white as my teeth."

3. Mike: "This is a serious situation right now. We're losing weight and we're getting pale. It's like the end of civilization."

4. Ronnie: "Vinny's hair, it's like a mixture between a mulle,t a mohawk and a faux hawk. I don't even know what to call it. But it looks good on him."

5. Ronnie: "Uncle Nino is the ultimate creep. I feel like he should be in this house with us. Honestly, he should get the smush room."
[Related - Uncle Nino: "Oh, Snooki Cookie Bella!"]

6. Mike: "This is Hurricane Situation and its headed straight for Snooki Island."

7. Sam: "Oh my God, let's be real. I just feel like Mike has gay tendencies… This is just so weird. Mike normally wifes up his grenades this way. Is he doing that with Unit?"

8. Pauly D: "Ryder's looking good tonight, but she already had s3x with Vinny. And I'm not really cool with Vinny's sloppy seconds, so I don't really know what to do with her. But, I don't want to be rude. So, whether you're the first man in or the last man in, ride her."
[Related - Ronnie: "I'm not into sloppy 23rds."]

9. Deena: "Vin's in a funk since the surprise party and I feel bad for him. I don't want anybody in a funk, because their funk puts me in a funk because they're in a funk and I don't want anybody to be in a funk."

10. Jionni: "I met [Mike] twice, he came up to me he goes 'Bro, your'e the nicest guy I ever met.'"
Snooki: "Why does everyone say that to you? You're not that nice."
'Jersey Shore' Season 5 Premiere: 10 Best Quotes of the Episode - Hollywood Reporter
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2 peeps gave props to Steve Agentzer0oo0 (01-06-2012) , hot topic  (01-06-2012)

41 comments for "'Jersey Shore' Season 5 Premiere: 10 Best Quotes of the Episode"

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Unread 3 years agoclass of '05 - away - #2
GUNIT-FINEST  space
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the Rider sh*t was funny. I am sure ppl she knows rite now are blowing her up she a hoe fu*ked everyone in the house except Ron... And she prob did that sh*t off cam
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Unread 3 years agoclass of '10 - on now - #3
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GUNIT-FINEST said:
the Rider sh*t was funny. I am sure ppl she knows rite now are blowing her up she a hoe fu*ked everyone in the house except Ron... And she prob did that sh*t off cam
Man that bi*ch is a SMUT

Shawty was dressing something reals.lutty too
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Unread 3 years agoclass of '11 - on now - #4
I KILL TREES 11 heat pts11 space
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Dudes still watch this sh*t
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Unread 3 years agoclass of '05 - away - #5
Krazie 99 heat pts99 space
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I k!ll TREES said:
Dudes still watch this sh*t
fu*king right we do.. It's entertaining.. That's what I watch TV for. I seriously hope they recast for next season like what I've heard though, I can't stand Mike, Sam, Deena or Snooki anymore.. The others are okay with me, but those as*holes gotta go.
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Unread 3 years agoclass of '10 - on now - #6
KillaJ008 4 heat pts space
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i never thought we would see a bigger douche than Mike on Jersey Shore....but then we see The Unit.
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Unread 3 years agoclass of '07 - away - #7
theFREAK 1338 heat pts1338 space
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The Unit is dat dude
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Unread 3 years agoclass of '05 - away - #8
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The Unit is that Dude fu*k wat yall talking about. I knew snooki was a damn lie idk why dude still with her must be for the fame and money she a super hoe to
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Unread 3 years agoclass of '05 - away - #9
dagame04 8 heat pts space
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The Unit just didnt give a fu*k... sh*t was funny... SHow is still entertaining but its hard cuz all them cats millionaires.
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Unread 3 years agoclass of '07 - away - #10
Jeet Kune Do 10 heat pts10 space
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KillaJ008 said:
i never thought we would see a bigger douche than Mike on Jersey Shore....but then we see The Unit.
cosign lol
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Unread 3 years agoclass of '05 - away - #11
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boughta watch in a couple :dancingcool:
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Unread 3 years agoclass of '10 - on now - #12
Agentzer0oo0 170 heat pts170 space
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T. Marinovich said:
The Unit is dat dude
GUNIT-FINEST said:
The Unit is that Dude fu*k wat yall talking about. I knew snooki was a damn lie idk why dude still with her must be for the fame and money she a super hoe to
dagame04 said:
The Unit just didnt give a fu*k... sh*t was funny... SHow is still entertaining but its hard cuz all them cats millionaires.
Thissssssssssssss. People not realizing this sh*t is entertainment. Why are y'all latching on to them like they fu*ked your girl

Mike, Pauly, The Unit, all are entertaining.

The Unit is that dude forreal :dancingcool:
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Unread 3 years agoclass of '06 - away - #13
waytoomuch 2 heat pts space
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wait wait, who the f**k is the unit again??
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Unread 3 years agoclass of '04 - away - #14
minimeblunts  space
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Agentzer0oo0 said:
Thissssssssssssss. People not realizing this sh*t is entertainment. Why are y'all latching on to them like they fu*ked your girl

Mike, Pauly, The Unit, all are entertaining.

The Unit is that dude forreal :dancingcool:


and most of them arent even ITALIANS... SO ppl who say they are giving us a bad name... FALL BACK AND GETCHA FACTS STRAIGHT!

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Unread 3 years agoclass of '09 - away - #15
HennyHeat 5 heat pts space
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The Unit reminds me exactly of this kid I know.... Guido dude who is shady as fucck, and puts on such an act... Snooki was foul for calling him out but it was prob the exact truth

Dude walklin around like his life is a movie its hilarious... All tanned and prob took all sorts of roids and fat burners

Guido chasin chicks are so shameless these dudes exploit the fucck out of dumb bi*ches
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Unread 3 years agoclass of '09 - away - #16
kbz 1 heat pts space
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the unit about to fu*k all this sh*t up in 2012
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Unread 3 years agoclass of '05 - away - #17
Freemind 41 heat pts41 space
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gonna have to find a download for this
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Unread 3 years agoclass of '08 - away - #18
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Freemind said:
gonna have to find a download for this
u can stream it
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Unread 3 years agoclass of '05 - away - #19
dg177bx 25 heat pts25 space
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Please go away forver!
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Unread 3 years agoclass of '05 - away - #20
I_REP_VA 6 heat pts space
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I don't watch this show anymore but Sammie is sooo bad..
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