DaOmega_1's SHORT reviews of "Resident Evil: Afterlife", and "2016: Obama's America"

I've been gone awhile, and have some catching up to do, so let's not waste any time and get into two movies that will almost DEFINITELY end up on my top 10 worst of 2012 list...

The Resident Evil film franchise is a strange one, because they are very VERY surreal, and seem exclusively focused on people shooting things while other things explode around them... all while wearing skin-tight leather. These are not movies about stories, or characters. They're about being "cool". These movies are the equivalent to some gay goth kid's sketchbook found in a time capsule of the 90's.

And, so we have Resident Evil: Retribution (a subtitle that makes no f*cking sense). In the neverending quest to stop the Umbrella Corporation from... well !!, I don't know. If you can decipher a story from this bull!!, more power to you, because I can't f*cking do it. I guess it's about "Alice" trying to once & for all bring down the Umbrella Corporation with the help of friends who were long-thought to be dead but are apparently cloned!! Number one, this might have some of the worst acting of the year. Everyone is so f*cking bad in this, it's a wonder these people even made it past community college drama class. Secondly, this movie is so f*cking monotonous. At some point, the gunfire dulls into white noise, and the action becomes boring. Now, the action could become interesting & involving if the characters had... ANY meat to them. But, they don't. They are faceless/soulless/emotionless avatars that the audience must project their own personalities onto in order for anyone to give a flying f*ck.

The 3D is good, but it's used in service of stupid gimmicky 3D tricks. One could make the argument that this is a popcorn movie. No, you know what's a popcorn movie? The Avengers? Fast Five? Bad Boys 2? THOSE are movies with a story, with characters, with personality alongside action. As it stands, Resident Evil: Retribution can barely be called a "movie". It's just loud stupid action that blurs into a brilliant shade of grey by the halfway point. Honestly, you could push a grand piano down a flight of stairs, close your eyes, and you'd get the same effect as watching this f*cking atrocious piece of garbage.

SCORE: 1.0 (out of 10) = CRAPPIEST

2016: OBAMA'S AMERICA

Some have called this movie the Republican's answer to Michael Moore. I disagree. Michael Moore, make no mistake, is a propagandist. However, Michael Moore backs up the spin that happens in his work with substantiated facts. This movie isn't concerned with facts. It is concerns with broad brushstrokes & thinly drawn conclusions pulled from nowhere of merit. Of course, we are talking about Dinesh D'Souza's film based on his critically-reviled (even by conservatives) book "The Roots of Obama's Rage". It is a film that tries to use Obama's own writings as proof of his (apparent) anti-colonialism stance that is making Obama push towards socialism.

Now... let's not look at the politics of this film, and see the movie as just a movie. First of all, this can barely be called a "documentary". There is not a single argument D'Souza makes that is of merit. Everything feels like poorly-conceived that does not convince in the slightest. In fact, the only people this film might appeal to are the folks who already had their minds made up about Obama long before seeing this movie. It's weak. He makes[..]ertions that racism no longer exists, which is PATENTLY false no matter how you look at it. However, my favorite flaw of the film is that Dinesh relies on dramatic reenactments at points when they feel completely inappropriate. To illustrate the point about racism, there's a scene of some black dude walking into a bar filled with white people. Everything stops, and everyone stares at the black dude. So, the black dude walks up to the bar to order a drink, and the two white guys sitting beside him get up to leave. The black guy is sad. But, suddenly the white guys return with a cake that says "HAPPY BIRTHDAY"! They were friends all along!

And, before you ask, I am not exaggerating a beat here.

The movie tries to tell a "story" that feels unfinished, and poorly drawn together. As a whole, the movie just fails to work as a narrative. From interviews with people trying to explain away Obama with pop psychology, to a wasted opportunity of an interview with Obama's half-brother, the movie lacks the edge, the personality, and the storytelling to truly make it stand out. However, what makes it worse is that the[..]ertions this films makes are either ridiculously false, or bewilderingly stupid. And, the audience of dumbasses who go to see this movie will buy into the BS on display. Because the film ignores facts, and outright lies, this drives the movie down SEVERAL notches.

SCORE: 2.0 (out of 10) = CRAPPIER

There you have it. So, this week, I'll finally be posting up my next "Let's Watch" thread which will be dedicated to "Harry Potter". And, as always, thanks for reading.

You need to start a site/blog

As has been suggested dozens of times. And, like I've said dozens of times, I'm unable to actually commit the time to running/updating/keeping a blog/site at this point in my life.

Omega, why you don't use headlines for movies?

Headlines?

I'm not quite sure what you mean, Stelo...

Omega, I love ya but your bias is out the wazoo here...

It would seem you don't play many (if any) video games and it's clearly evident you don't play Resident Evil, nor do you enjoy video game films--for the most part (if not for the all part) if my memory serves me.

So good review for those that see it the same way as you I guess [pic] people enjoy different things and for different reasons. But I digress.


As far as The Obama's America in 2016 film, the bias there is very clear. You defend Michael Moore, for goodness sakes. Crying out loud man. Good thing you avoid the political discussions and Daily Bugle, you'd both be lauded and licked by the liberals and eaten alive by the independents and moderates. At least you actually saw the movie, for someone who would bow down to Obama given the chance. [pic]


Please note I don't mean any offense whatsoever I just can't believe you came out of hiding to trash these movies. I definitely respect your opinion, and movie-going and film-critiquing forte to the utmost. [pic]

[pic]


good reviews btw, I'll still prob catch Resident Evil on HBO in a year or some !! randomly lol. I've seen all the other ones.

Politic debates on Boxden. [pic]

I am an independent. I'm not a liberal or a conservative. I didn't even vote for Obama in the last election, and won't vote for him in this one either. So, you'd be wrong there. I didn't even defend Michael Moore. I said that he is a propagandist, which is true. But, a propagandist who uses facts rather than empty conjecture. Look online, there has been point by point fact checks about this movie. As a movie, it is garbage. As politics? Don't make me laugh.

And, I do play video games. I absolutely LOVE the Resident Evil series, which is why I hate these movies. Look, you can dance around it and act as if I'm being irrational, but these movies are trash. They are. The video games told a story, they had a plot, they had characters, they had cinematic moments. These movies are like the last 8 minutes of a 90's action movie stretched out over feature length.

Both of your[..]umptions are wrong, guy. So, next time, don't[..]ume things.

Hey thanks for clarifying. And for not being inflamed. Like a radical Muslim lol. Shows some maturity and self respect. As I said, I came back atchyou with the utmost respect.

I've just heard from other moderates, independents, and conservatives that the Obama movie is pretty good. I respect the author and creator too.

Oh, okay, yeah the movies fail the games pretty comprehensively. Good to know, and I'm sorry I didn't know you were a fan, never seen u in the Gamespot or anything ya know.

I guess you kind of dashed my hopes. This new movie looked promising to me. I'm curious, did you like Afterlife?

My thing is, Obama is a pretty moderate president, when all is said & done. He has done nothing to suggest the radical/far-left slant that Conservatives want to paint him as. For me, the director lays out his arguments pretty poorly, and his attempts at trying to drive the point home feels like ridiculous conspiracy theories that have no basis in reality. To everyone that knows what's up, this movie will be ridiculous. To everyone who likes films that cynically preach to the choir, they'll love it. I'm not surprised conservatives like this.

If you were to ask about my politics, I believe that both liberals & conservative have failed the American people, and have shown proof that we need something more than this two party system. Obama is nothing but a talking mouthpiece that is trying to please everyone and, as a result, is pleasing no one. Mitt Romney is an out-of-touch moron who has no chance at winning even if God himself came down and helped him out. Neither of these guys are people I want to run our country.

Did I like Afterlife? Um, no. I didn't. I did think that some of the previous films had fun moments to them, though... But, they're ALL so damn generic, playing with the same tropes, cliches, etc. that makes these movies so damn boring.

Paul W.S. Anderson for President.

Change W.S. to Thomas, and maybe I'd agree with you.

Have you seen that guy in interviews? [pic]

I prefer apocalypses.

[pic]

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awwwwww man

i dunno about that review..i mean my fav res movie was the 1st one the others were kinda cheesy and wack to me but i thought retribution was sick

his favorite critic just put out a review saying Retribution > The Master

Who, Armond White?

...Figures.