Different types of street ballers

MR GQ: This guy is a clown, He makes sure to get all dressed up before hitting the courts...He will be constantly playing with his hair and looking into the huge crowd of a sausage fest trying to impress the one chick in the crowd... He doesn't like to get his hands dirty most of the time.....don't expect much hustle or crashing the boards from him

THE 11th Man: This is the cat who usually comes to the park by himself and never gets picked up unless somebody gets hurt or has to leave the game early... usually these cats have a very limited skill set and a low morale.... don't mind picking these cats up if your short a baller... If anything they know thier role, will hustle and not force up shots

THE MUSCLE HEAD: It could be 30 degrees out, and of course this man will find it neccessary to remove his shirt for some reason... He isn't Mosses Malone and padding his stats... he will usually brick a few bunnies before finally converting... He loves physical contact and not bashfull when it comes to mixing it up...Most of them aren't very coordinated but if you have a soft squad, he could come in handy

THE BALL STOPPER: not as bad as the gunner, but he will find a need to show off all his dribbeling skills he learned from the and 1 videos.... don't bank on any kind of ball movement with him on your squad... most of these cats have no jumpshot and pretty much just run around in circels for a while... they tend to get frustrated when U play off them and don't try to steal the ball from them

THE CHEATER: 1 of the more annoying characters out thier... you have to be aware of the score at all times or expect to get jewed... this guy will shoot a foot in front of the arc and call it a trey.... will claim people stepped out of bounds when they didn't.... If u play to 17 and get thier first, he will claim your playing to 19..etc etc.... The cheater gets in rare form, exspecially when the court is crowded and people call winners.... He will cheat as much as possible to avoid sitting out a game

THE DIRTBALL: not of my favorites either, this guy smells like sour ass before the game even starts.... this guy tends to sweat a lot as well and makes guarding him very uncomfortable....he has no qualms about removing the shirt also....regardless of his skill level, this is somebody I try to avoid having to guard at all cost....

EXCESSIVE HUSTLER: I'm all 4 busting your ass out thier, but this man can take it 2 far sometimes... Will be one of the few cats who will actually try to drawl a charge in the street...U can expect him to take a few spills and scrap up his kness threwout the course of the game....Is a prime suspect to get into a fight as well... being some peeps don't appreciate his style of play

TEAM ALLIANCE: most of the time come in groups of 2 or 3.... they like to zone the rest of thier squad out from the action....more then likley are highschool or college teammates who run thier own plays amongst each other... U can counter it to an extent by doing the same thing with your boys... but it's hard to get in a groove playing like this...

PLAYER COACH: This man likes to boss people around and call some of his old highschool plays.... can be very demanding of his fellow teammates.... don't mind him as much, cause he's usually intense and doesn't take any s**t from the cheater... always aware of the score and will find u if your open or cut to the basket... can rub some people the wrong way, who are playing more for fun then competition

TOKEN FAT ASS: it is always the fat sloppy bastard who think he has a 2 guards game as well...likes to camp his fat ass out around the 3 point line and still manage to slack getting back on defense...doesn't have much in the tank, count on him running outta gas after a game or 2....

THE SASHA: can be very annoying, It is his specialty to smack around wrist and be scuffing up your new kicks....will be hard pressed getting him to call any fouls as well... somebody elts who can wind up getting into a fight

THE GUNNER: self explanitory, has a horrible shot selection and demands the rock in his hands at all times...tends to press the issue to much and in the process looses the motivation of his teammates....Some of them are actually good players, but somebody I try to avoid picking up unless I absoluetly have to

THE TOM BOY: some of them are cool, I understand it's hard for girls to find pick up games and give them props for mixing it up with the fellas... but some of them can be cunts though... Will b**ch if they think U aren't playing hard against them... and then b**ch when u send thier shot to 13th avenue...lots of them are useless cause they tend to just pitch a tent at the 3 point line and bring little to the table on defense... plus lots of the simps go out of thier way to spoon feed them shots, in hopes of getting in her paints

Co-sign on all of them.. escpically the tom boy, the cheater the dirtball and the fatass. I got stuck on a team like that few days ago at the rec the fatass was force feeding the tom boy easy shots tryna holla while he was getting hsi ass busted on defense.

The cheater got into 4 arguements during the game about the score

the dirtball was a dirtball.

we lost horribly too. dirtball got a alley jammed on him.

@ fatboy trying to get some sweaty pus*y for after the game

i cant stand the cheater and the gunner..i normally almost get into fights all the time with these 2 idiots especially the gunner


you shoulda put a category up for the nigga who calls Foul everytime he misses a shot and then wont respect your call when you actually do get fouled or call a travel of some sort

all of these factors led me to stop playing ball in plantation and in carol city lol...thats all there is out there

and dont forget about "pops". the old guy who thinks he still got gas left in the tanks/ wears the handband with the british knights. he has basic but lethal ball fakes and plays like bob cousy/ larry bird in nba street. he even tries to run full court when its 3 on 3 game.

yeah i forgot about the poor sport..... I try not to call fouls unless it's really bad.... so that emotional dude b**ching for every call is annoying... they get even worse when the game is on the line

afro, some of these dudes have no pride in themselves.... sacrificing winning the game to try to f**k some butch ass looking girl, who prolly has swamp ass and a rank snatch after ballin it up

yeah them 86 hot tub cats... these guys usually always have a wet jumpshot....wear them ridiculous ass shorts, some even rock the james worthy goggels..... very fundamentaly sound if anything

I know this guy who balls at the rec center I play at sometimes and this dude is seriously the best shooter there,Dude is like 5'6 and in his 50's and hustles after any shots he misses and will defiantly make his shot that he just missed if you let him grab the board.Old bastard does 1 hand runners from the 3pt line in games

HATE THE IM SHORT BUT I PLAY THE POST NIGGAZ GET THE FUK OUT THE PAINT

Whenever you go to the gym to play ball and there's a bunch of black dudes there they think they're on the and1 basketball tour or bout to be on ESPN or some s**t. I just wanna go and run a few games but you got Gangstarr with his headband and high socks who dribbles too much then throws the ball away tryna impress the make believe NBA scout in the stands.

one hand runners from behind the arc. stop lying lls

you also got "pops son", ya know who Im talking about. old man's son who cant shoot, pass, dribble, and the dad mocks him in front of his peers. the son is more into his education, while pops tries to strenthen him up. lol and sometimes when they are on opposite sides, pops hustles over to block his son shot.
ya know what im talking about

MIddle aged' tall guy?

he's taller than everyone on the court
about 40 years old
wet Jumper that he only uses when he has too usualy he's using his long arms on swoops to the basket finger rolling that s**t at the very last second so you mis-time your block attempt

You forgot the dudes who feel themselves and think they're nice when they make a basic move or an okay fancy dribble and say, "got em'", "oh" and all sorts, but in reality its was real weak.

then call weak ass fouls, or say and-1 after everyshot

hea yea, then be pushing u in the back when u getting a rebound. a nice elbow solves these types of clown

this whole thread is comedy.

and 1 when they created the contract or slightly tap them.

I played with this dude once who was like 6'10" and I was the next tallest at 6'2". This dude acted like he was hot s**t whenever he dunked on all the other kids down low 6' and under. I finally saw one comin and stuffed the s**t outta his dunk attempt and dude didn't open his mouth again the rest of the day

you for got the and1 callin muthaf**kas who are always missin and never fouled but callin and 1 everyshot

One time at the rec, there was this 6'6-6'7 white old dude that looked like the crypt keeper who had next. He picked me and my boy up (we really didnt wanna play with him but we had to say yes cause we were the only ones there) and he takes his jacket off, he has a white tshirt on and we play for a lil minute then he tries to post up his guy and the guy guarding him just screams out "ayyyyyyyy what the f**k?!?!"...he raises his arm up and theres blood all over his forearm....the old man turns around and he has a huge blood stain on his shirt...like he was starting to gush.....and all he says is "ohhh yea...that was a motorcycle accident....."
everyone is just in awe....he picks up his jacket and leaves.....i didnt wanna play anymore after that....kept making fun of the kid that was guarding him saying he had aids lol

lol, where do ya'll live/play ball at???

everywhere I hoop at it's always a bunch of young kids from the neighborhood or younger cats from around the way....

stop hoopin at the Y and go to a playground where your not allowed to run unless your decent...