Vizfia Frenix

--- chapter 1

I just want to peel my face off - getting rid of this excess shell - this cocoon i'm resident to. I want to jump out of my skin and be free of my own flesh prison. I want my soul back. My soul - which is trapped beneath my heart - trapped behind my eyes. If only she'd look at them and see my soul through my wide-eyed doorways. I deliver - my thanks, my gratitude, my praise, and my love - you are my God. I love her so very much and yet, she lays sleeping unawares to my love it seems...

She must love me. That's the only explanation.

I can't walk without my shadow like I can't breathe without her love. It's so simple. Love is no game. Love is learned not found. You don't go looking for it; love finds you. Talk to me, will you? Behind these brazen eyes there is such a sad person. Sad you have no idea what love feels like.

And this is how it all began.

I must exist "now". I must treasure "now". Yet "now" isn't what it seems, separate from its sisters, past and future, "now" is like a ghost - an omnipresent ghost of circular thoughts flying around a closed circuit. Everything tangible seems to be past and future... whereas everything intangible seems to exist only as "now". Love is always thought about in the sense of the now, not the past. We reflect on the past, yes, but we do not reconcile with it. As with the future the same is also true.

These are my thoughts... my sublime thoughts made palpable to you here "now". As does an ocean wave crash so must I fall with a reticent clash. A tsunami of feelings penetrate my heart... haunting me, taunting me. Urging me - to spread my wings and fly. To live, love, and die. The crash is the hardest part. You see, it hurts... it sets my heart on fire, burning away like crackling flames of pain. So wherein lies my ultimate concern? My concern is my heart... to let nothing touch it, except true love. You see, I know what you're thinking of me. You think I am but a child who has much learning to endure. You think I speak meaningless dribble. You think I can't make it... but I can. I can and I will. I can do anything.

You see, love is a mere word. What's important is love itself. Words can be so empty, so subjective, so off-set by the perceptions of their beholder that we often times confuse them for other things in the past or future. Just as we also often confuse the past and future themselves, we ascertain the power of now, we're assertive in the acquisition of "wealth"; wealth being subjective. We ambush the unaware cocophany and sieze the moment for what it really is. It is all about the now. It's all about what you can do for yourself and not waiting for something to happen. These are my words, these are my thoughts. This is how I feel at this time, in this "now". Rarely do I ever talk about my feelings with others, rarely do I get the chance. Rarely do people know that I feel like dying, like giving up, like death calls for me.

So, understand. Understand me. Draw conclusions and mental imagery of what you think I am... because, the truth is, you'll will never know the real me. All that you've drawn is fallacious. All that you know is entirely subjective to your experiences and biases. All truth is shaped by perception while truth does not shape all perception. All knowledge is information while not all information is knowledge. All that glitters is not gold. Ask yourself, "Who am I?" Question yourself, your surroundings, your beliefs, your judgement. Always, always ask questions. Don't be afraid, do not let fear run you. Dominate your fear, for they are honest yet weak.

Knowing this, knowing love... what can be said? What can possibly be said? Love doesn't work, but it doesn't have to work. Love exists whether you believe in it or not. It's power - immeasurable, unfathomable. Everything derives from love. And I'll show you why. God creates; love is the creator.

--- chapter 2

Vizfia woke up dreary and drowsy. Nothing new. Sad but true, this was a beautiful day for him, if only he could see it. He went to eat and wash up and clean his room. He did this concisely, methodically unthinking with ease. Nothing was a challenge to him, all his energy was focused on that feeling in the back of his mind - the feeling he could not shake. It irked him and cut at his confidence because this was something he couldn't climb over or breeze through. Not to mention what a lovely autumn day it was, windy and cloudy with people scurrying about - Vizfia resolved to go for a walk.

And that's how Vizfia met Ashley.

--- chapter 3

While sitting, thinking, wondering, and pondering... Vizfia was contemplating, deliberating, deciding on truth. He was concerned with love, for love was in his heart. It tore out at him, lashing almost violently - love clung to him like vines and refused to let go. Vizfia loves Ashley. But does Ashley love Vizfia? Find out soon... because the irony is... finding out is like digging in sand - looking for that diamond... looking for that fortune and fame and wealth. Vizfia digs. He's been digging a hole all his life looking for that one diamond, that one special girl to set him free... free of his prison, free of his self. He uses his shovel well, he asserts himself unimaginably well and he dominates the sand like he were born a digger. He is a digger. He has digger skin, digger eyes, a digger nose, a digger mouth and ears and hands... he is a bonafide digger. If you catch my drift, you best be shooting the breeze, because Vizfia is like none other than you or me. Vizfia is unique. So much so, people hate him for this - they do not understand him, he is like an outerworldly experience all packaged up in flesh, bone, and blood. Ready to be opened and revealed... and yet, he reveals not. He is just as shy as the best of us.

And so - Vizfia dug. He dug and dug and dug and dug and dug some more until he was on the verge of defeat. Alack! What ho? Could it be? Yes... this diamond appearing before him... Could it really be what he has been searching for? I can not say. I can not tell...

--- chapter 4

Everything was so surreal. These thoughts he's been having are just too - alien. Aliens... psh, there's no such thing, is there? But of course, we're not alone though - not in this universe. Vizfia just couldn't deal with everything... he needed an escape. He wanted to be free. Free of his own body, so to speak.

Sometimes, Vizfia felt alien himself. Sometimes...

Like, what if there were human races on other planets that nobody on Earth knew about because Earth is meant for the blind and depraved souls. And also the heartless, soulless "people" who live yet are dead on the inside. And through a mix of technology and magic, Vizfia was sent backwards, or forwards - time doesn't exist for Vizfia - through time to Earth. Coming here as a baby illegally would be paramount to any deed however good or bad thus nullifying any restraints time ever had on said baby.

But Vizfia needed answers, and he needed them now!

Sorry, thoughts are like speeding bullets... bullet trains on magnetic rails going a smooth upwards of 1,000 kmph easy. They eat at you, and munch and bite and tear and chew you over till there's nothing left but your voice. Then they attack. Your voice left vulnerable to all things external... all things transitory. All things left immortal are left for dead.

Searching for Vizfia is a lost cause. You'll never find him, for his identity has been erased, a soft ego, even less intact, Vizfia doesn't cling like most people do. Sure, it seems that way, but really, on the inside, Vizfia is already dead. There is no one alive named Vizfia Frenix and there never again will be. He died... truth killed him. All that remains is pure honesty. Honesty you'd only ever find in someone as morally reprehensive as Vizfia.

But I digress... As author slash narrator I am inclined to come forward with the love story of Vizfia and Ashley. Vizfia who we will come to know as, the little Romeo.

--- chapter 5

On this dark, cold night there was a full moon. the brightest, largest moon you'd ever have seen. Though, soon, someone would have to leave for a very long time... Ashley. Their departure went well, given the circumstances, but it only left Vizfia wanting more. And more... He's been digging all his life to find her, and now she is leaving. The one piece of him that completes him will be gone. Ashley did her best to console him; God knows she tried...

It's so hard for Vizfia. He didn't cry, but there are tears in his eyes.

The moment of truth has befallen them, like an artist with easel Vizfiia shook off his tears and grasped his composure. He was strong, firm, and decidedly unkempt about his decisions. His precision was undoubtedly part of his operation, his mission. "FIRESTORM has you. FIRESTORM has you." Were his thoughts. He is ready. He is strong. He is powerful. Although Ashley left, she is not wholly away. There shall always be that piece of her in Vizfia's heart. And his heart is telling him, "Complete Operation Project FireSTORM." That is his drive. That is his goal.

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I must inform you now that Vizfia Frenix is a made up character. His name is not copyrighted or anything like that. In this story, he is a living, breathing human being, with special talents of which must be left unsaid. His ineffable appearance is somewhat a mystery. He is Vizfia Frenix and he is meant to be a universal element. Something anybody can relate to. Ashley, is likewise similar. She is a girl, and at this point in the story, she is gone. Her whereabouts are unknown, she may not even be on Earth. This mystery disappearance will tie in nicely with the plot of Vizfia's mission.

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And so has it FIRESTORM has thee.

It was all a dream, things just aren't what they seem. He is coming. Ashley left to be safe. She would only endanger her beloved Vizfia. Who right now is sleeping. Oh, he's aware of this alright... It's just not going to cut it though when they have one without the other. He can do away with prizes... all he wants is a shot, one shot, one chance. To save the world or not... that is the question. Vizfia will definitely prove himself adequately capable of anything. Nothing is impossible. He must figure out himself, firstly then try to go back in time and save himself from a possible fiasco.

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A watch.

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Love

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You feel that Vizfia? That's your heart telling you I freakin' love you! -Ashley

UPDATE:

Am I fail?