View Full Version : [WOW, IM AMAZED] Some Cutty
*LEGEND*
04-09-2006, 03:19 AM
yo i found my notebook full of old poems i wrote and i clearly remember writing this one. i got caught up cheating and i thought i had lost the best girl ive EVER met, so i expressed my hurt in a diff way...i must say, its gotta be the craziest time i ever went thru
Some Cutty
The way i feel when i cut myself
I release the pain inside
As it seeps through my skin
So comfortable,
As i embrace the blade
My feelings are blue
Like the blood i shed,
Without oxygen.
Running out of breath,
Im so trapped
But Ive realized, the more i cut
The more it hurts.
And ironically
All thats left behind
Are the scars on my wrists
And unhealed wounds in my heart
*speechless*
damn this sh*t is too personal...
Collapse
04-09-2006, 10:53 AM
This is crazy...its a strong topic...i felt could of been portrayed in a stronger way but nonetheless...this was a decent drop...
stay up
*LEGEND*
04-09-2006, 06:51 PM
This is crazy...its a strong topic...i felt could of been portrayed in a stronger way but nonetheless...this was a decent drop...
stay up
thanx brotha. it is a strong topic. i didnt kno if it was too personal or not but i thought i should post just to see what yall would think
*LEGEND*
04-10-2006, 10:11 AM
crits?
aplus
04-10-2006, 01:51 PM
nicely done poem, covered fully with emotion
you talk about slitting your wrists over a chick without ever actually saying that is is what you did...by describing, not telling...that is the strong point of this drop
the 2nd and 3rd lines are nice...the idea that pain could seep through your skin...fiya
True Geniu$
04-10-2006, 02:28 PM
that was original. nice piece legend. it is very emotional and very personal. very nice piece legend. you related heart break to cutting your wrists and i like the way you did that...
preshrunkmilk
04-10-2006, 02:38 PM
This is nice i like how you describe actions so that the reader can draw the conclusion of what is going on without saying it....vary well done.....
*LEGEND*
04-10-2006, 05:48 PM
thanx guys
that means alot. i didnt kno whether this poem was good 'poetically' speaking...
to me it was very personal, and thats prolly why i liked it so much. but man this period in time was not good. i guess i drop that fiyah when im going thru sh*t LOL
Real talk ,True Story that was touching. I actually read it a couple of times to feel your emotions.
*LEGEND*
04-11-2006, 04:08 PM
any more crits? where all the original poets?
*LEGEND*
04-12-2006, 08:21 PM
up???
DirtyHarry
04-12-2006, 08:52 PM
Real talk ,True Story that was touching. I actually read it a couple of times to feel your emotions. Thats not poetic
Thats Homoetic
Darkpoet
04-12-2006, 10:18 PM
You took a real risk with this one. Not alot of people have the abiltiy, yet alone the skill, to be able to touch such a topic such as this. And have the talent to actually capture the emotion behind the words. You did a hell of a job with this piece.
10/10
Poison Ink
04-13-2006, 08:35 AM
awwww, sh*t i'm glad to see your still here on earth. don't have no more suicidal attempts to reclaim a love. you'll just seem even crazier.
*LEGEND*
04-14-2006, 01:56 AM
You took a real risk with this one. Not alot of people have the abiltiy, yet alone the skill, to be able to touch such a topic such as this. And have the talent to actually capture the emotion behind the words. You did a hell of a job with this piece.
10/10
WOW
thanx fam. that means alottttttt. im flattered.
and Poison, i feel u. lol
*LEGEND*
04-14-2006, 09:07 PM
thanx for all the crits
J Poet
04-25-2006, 06:57 PM
crazy kiko just crazy but i mean this in a good way i like it dark feel to it im back 2 bi*ch hit me up n nigga when da fu*k we gonna collab on sum sh*t huh? my pen is ready to melt on this paper...... grab ya damn pen!!! lol hit me back
*LEGEND*
07-29-2006, 02:00 AM
another old heat rock
philalove
07-29-2006, 08:08 AM
you wrote about something that a lot of people can relate to and has intense emotion behind it, and you didn't make it sound cheap or self-pitying. great job, man.
clamette
08-30-2006, 11:20 PM
Running out of breath,
Im so trapped
But Ive realized, the more i cut
The more it hurts.
And ironically
All thats left behind
Are the scars on my wrists
And unhealed wounds in my heart[/B]
*speechless*
damn this sh*t is too personal...
This was personal and it definitely hit home! I felt the pain as I read each line.. it took me back! great drop!
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