mac58
08-09-2005, 12:12 AM
this is my first short story I wrote real quick. If u can leave some feedback negative or positive. Ill prop any feedback even negative. Try and be constructive.
Murderer
As I sat there hidden I knew he couldn’t see me. I began to sweat as I realized what I was about to do. I clutched my 12 gauge shotgun and turned. Without making a sound I raised my gun and got him in my sights. I was a great shot so I knew one pull of the trigger and it would be the end of his life. He looked pretty peaceful and totally unaware of what was about to happen.
I took a deep breath and wondered if he had a family and how they would feel. I started to hope he didn’t have any children. The thought of taking away someone’s father made me sick to my stomach. I think I was just thinking too much. I should just get it over with. Death is natural.
My sweaty palm gripped the bottom of the gun. I placed my shaky pointer finger on the trigger. I put him in my sights one last time and squeezed. It seemed like it was all in slow motion. The loud drawn out bang of the gun. My target falling lifeless to the ground. I could swear I saw the life leave his eyes.
I got up slowly and my vision and hearing seemed blurred. I heard voices as I ran to the corpse. I dropped my gun and knelt down next to my victim. I don’t really no what I was feeling. I was in a dazed state. I just felt wrong. I felt like it was something I shouldn’t have done.
Then I felt a hand grab my shoulder. My heart dropped for a minute and I was brought back to reality. At that moment all the blurred vision and hearing was gone. “You did it! Good job son.” My dad shouted with a smile on his face. He turned to my brother and yelled “he got one, the little bastard got his first before you did” I just smiled and nodded. Then we grabbed it by the antlers and dragged it to the car. My dad and brother still go hunting. I havent been back since, its getting harder and harder to come up with excuses each year.
Murderer
As I sat there hidden I knew he couldn’t see me. I began to sweat as I realized what I was about to do. I clutched my 12 gauge shotgun and turned. Without making a sound I raised my gun and got him in my sights. I was a great shot so I knew one pull of the trigger and it would be the end of his life. He looked pretty peaceful and totally unaware of what was about to happen.
I took a deep breath and wondered if he had a family and how they would feel. I started to hope he didn’t have any children. The thought of taking away someone’s father made me sick to my stomach. I think I was just thinking too much. I should just get it over with. Death is natural.
My sweaty palm gripped the bottom of the gun. I placed my shaky pointer finger on the trigger. I put him in my sights one last time and squeezed. It seemed like it was all in slow motion. The loud drawn out bang of the gun. My target falling lifeless to the ground. I could swear I saw the life leave his eyes.
I got up slowly and my vision and hearing seemed blurred. I heard voices as I ran to the corpse. I dropped my gun and knelt down next to my victim. I don’t really no what I was feeling. I was in a dazed state. I just felt wrong. I felt like it was something I shouldn’t have done.
Then I felt a hand grab my shoulder. My heart dropped for a minute and I was brought back to reality. At that moment all the blurred vision and hearing was gone. “You did it! Good job son.” My dad shouted with a smile on his face. He turned to my brother and yelled “he got one, the little bastard got his first before you did” I just smiled and nodded. Then we grabbed it by the antlers and dragged it to the car. My dad and brother still go hunting. I havent been back since, its getting harder and harder to come up with excuses each year.