Still Motion
07-23-2005, 09:25 PM
It was almost time with the car expecting me behind the wheel. But I wasn't ready to drive yet. I felt the slight buzz as the alcohol coursed through my body.
'You can't abandon your principles, not even for something like this...'
I dragged my aged bones up the stairs and to the bathroom, as the steps echoed with a hollow thud. Echoing through the caverns of this empty house and empty heart.
The cool splash of water felt like knives on my face. But I didn't respond, as if I were numbed to stimuli. I just gazed at the reflection in the mirror of a face untouched for days. Course brown hair spread across the smooth plains of my cheek. Half out of intrigue, and the other half of I don't know what made me touch my chi. I felt the rough surface with my hand gentle climbing up my collar bone. That's when I realized my eyes... those green eyes. No my little girls eyes.
The window seemed to shatter and the pieces dripped over the edge of the sink. From there they took a plummeting fall to the floor pinning me in place, forcing me to look at those eyes.
A second later I was look at my little girl again... two weeks ago, though she had been drinking.
"You don't talk to your father like that Lily!''
"I can talk to you however the fu*k I want! Stay out of my fu*king business!"
"As long as you’re under my roof, whatever you do is MY business..."
"To fu*king hell it is..."
"You don't like it then get out of my house!"
"Fine you a**hole"
"Get out!"
The door slam shut with my fingers now on my temples. Two fingers to be exact... And I would have broken both of those fingers just to take back those last two words...
It was just a tattoo... a simple little tattoo. A tattoo you wish you could see everyday...
"Margaret out daughter is getting out of control."
"Frank, she's just a kid."
"She's seventeen, next year she'll be an adult..."
"I know what your thinking, but she has to learn from her own mistakes..."
"But what if were not there to tell her they're mistakes..."
"You've got a point Frank... Talk to Lily when she gets home..."
I wished I had listened to Margaret. I just wish I did... Instead of talking I yelled at, screaming at the top of my lungs. Mid-sentence I'd have to take a breath and star screaming again.
Yes those screams, they soon became laced with sirens. As if hell gates opened upon earth I saw the blaze on the television...
"Today on Hylan Boulevard a black 2000 Miata skidded off the road and collided with a tree and blew up into the flames we see here. Officials have said there have been two victims. Investigation is occurring as to the reason why this accident happened."
"Breaking News, the accident on Hylan Boulevard has been said to have occurred by drunk driving. Witnesses say they saw the couple leaving a bar a few hours before."
"The bodies have been identified as Lily Macgregor and Craig Gardener."
When you find out the last word you said to your child was "Get Out", your world crashes harder on you than your first hangover.
I stared through the windshield of my car looking for some peace in the white garage door.
'Lily a father is the gardener for his household, his family. I was supposed to tend to the flower that is my daughter, but I let her special little patch be infested by weeds. I let you be watered with impurities. Please forgive me, for your father didn't have a green thumb. One that would tend and care to his prize-winning flower.'
I tears swelled as I place my key into the ignition, with the buzz still floating around my head.
'You can't abandon your principles, not even for something like this...'
I dragged my aged bones up the stairs and to the bathroom, as the steps echoed with a hollow thud. Echoing through the caverns of this empty house and empty heart.
The cool splash of water felt like knives on my face. But I didn't respond, as if I were numbed to stimuli. I just gazed at the reflection in the mirror of a face untouched for days. Course brown hair spread across the smooth plains of my cheek. Half out of intrigue, and the other half of I don't know what made me touch my chi. I felt the rough surface with my hand gentle climbing up my collar bone. That's when I realized my eyes... those green eyes. No my little girls eyes.
The window seemed to shatter and the pieces dripped over the edge of the sink. From there they took a plummeting fall to the floor pinning me in place, forcing me to look at those eyes.
A second later I was look at my little girl again... two weeks ago, though she had been drinking.
"You don't talk to your father like that Lily!''
"I can talk to you however the fu*k I want! Stay out of my fu*king business!"
"As long as you’re under my roof, whatever you do is MY business..."
"To fu*king hell it is..."
"You don't like it then get out of my house!"
"Fine you a**hole"
"Get out!"
The door slam shut with my fingers now on my temples. Two fingers to be exact... And I would have broken both of those fingers just to take back those last two words...
It was just a tattoo... a simple little tattoo. A tattoo you wish you could see everyday...
"Margaret out daughter is getting out of control."
"Frank, she's just a kid."
"She's seventeen, next year she'll be an adult..."
"I know what your thinking, but she has to learn from her own mistakes..."
"But what if were not there to tell her they're mistakes..."
"You've got a point Frank... Talk to Lily when she gets home..."
I wished I had listened to Margaret. I just wish I did... Instead of talking I yelled at, screaming at the top of my lungs. Mid-sentence I'd have to take a breath and star screaming again.
Yes those screams, they soon became laced with sirens. As if hell gates opened upon earth I saw the blaze on the television...
"Today on Hylan Boulevard a black 2000 Miata skidded off the road and collided with a tree and blew up into the flames we see here. Officials have said there have been two victims. Investigation is occurring as to the reason why this accident happened."
"Breaking News, the accident on Hylan Boulevard has been said to have occurred by drunk driving. Witnesses say they saw the couple leaving a bar a few hours before."
"The bodies have been identified as Lily Macgregor and Craig Gardener."
When you find out the last word you said to your child was "Get Out", your world crashes harder on you than your first hangover.
I stared through the windshield of my car looking for some peace in the white garage door.
'Lily a father is the gardener for his household, his family. I was supposed to tend to the flower that is my daughter, but I let her special little patch be infested by weeds. I let you be watered with impurities. Please forgive me, for your father didn't have a green thumb. One that would tend and care to his prize-winning flower.'
I tears swelled as I place my key into the ignition, with the buzz still floating around my head.