Reunion of Generations - Life and Death - Boxden Articles




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~BLUEPRINT~
04-13-2005, 11:38 AM
http://slumz.boxden.com/showthread.php?t=233667


You could hear the cackle
from the Oldsmobile,
uttering "Tune-Up",
and one could feel the agitated
motor rumble throughout the car,
while the youngin's
huddled over the hood,
offering non-mechanical guesses
as to what was wrong with it,
nonetheless,
for 18 years it has served a purpose
of carpooling a family of seven.

On the front porch,
tappin' pennyloafers
and wet toothpicks conversed.
You could hear the restless checkers
scatter across the board
to the rhythm and laughter
of the folktales,
or what I call lies,
by way of disgruntled veterans
and re"tired" old men.

Inside, a soothing hymn
hovered the thin air
along the same wave
of nana's greens,
seasoned and spiced to perfection,
while she adamantly
wrestles through cupboards,
and if she sighted you in HER kitchen,
the glare in her eye alone
could train any appetite to just wait.

Out back,
preganant and menopausal women
shuffled to the "Electric Slide",
where rusted swings screamed from irritation,
and Lil' Mike could always be seen
over by the shed cuppin his face....
"READY OR NOT!"
while his friends lashed their tongues out,
taunting him,
knowing he was a big boy,
and they would never be caught
unless they let him.

The atmosphere yielded collaboration,
a symphony if you will,
of a family,
adjoined by the black smoke
gasping from the rusted grill,
and picnic tables
decorated to accompany
the most distant and unfamiliar relatives,
to regain a consciousness
of where we all came from......

Def Poet
04-13-2005, 11:54 AM
hot drop fam. brings back some old memories.....kudos

~BLUEPRINT~
04-13-2005, 11:56 AM
thnx.....

Don Savant
04-13-2005, 12:06 PM
cool....nice work...kind of similar to one i started a while back...different content...similar feel....

SuNsHiNe_BLuE
04-13-2005, 04:20 PM
kinda reminds me of my grandmom's house....with lots of family around of all ages doing routine things...very well written

~BLUEPRINT~
04-14-2005, 06:20 AM
bump.........

SuNsHiNe_BLuE
04-14-2005, 06:51 AM
um...just read it again and its still hot *shrug*

~BLUEPRINT~
04-14-2005, 07:01 AM
*blows kisses at ayo*

aplus
04-14-2005, 09:40 AM
cool read, reminds me of my family reunion or going to my aunt's house...

"You could hear the restless checkers
scatter across the board
to the rhythm and laughter
of the folktales,
or what I call lies,
by way of disgruntled veterans
and re"tired" old men."

^^hot, to me

~BLUEPRINT~
04-14-2005, 07:08 PM
your mama drop inspired me to drop this...just thinking about family...

somnambulistfuc
04-17-2005, 02:12 AM
Very vivid imagery, no dead metaphors, nice structure; you have a very good control over the language you use. There is very little to critique here, however the subject matter could border on trite (especially on the spoken word circuit), I guess the only thing to say would be to try and make it fresher and good job really.

It does seem like it's meant to be read aloud, a certain cadence about it y'know?

Ju$tin15
04-18-2005, 01:50 PM
real nice piece, brings back memories of tha family bar-be-que

~BLUEPRINT~
08-08-2005, 09:46 AM
Uppin

JigglezPooh
08-09-2005, 10:35 PM
Nice drop. It bought to mind the smell of collard greens, neckbones, and sweet cornbread. Now im hungry.

~BLUEPRINT~
04-17-2006, 03:42 PM
uppin

True Geniu$
04-17-2006, 11:01 PM
i remember this piece too. skimming through it takes me back to thanksgiving at my grandma's house...

jag1
05-02-2006, 12:04 PM
i liked thid effort, thought it was real clever and intelligently put forward,.......propz...