Locked Doors

[aplus]

http://slumz.boxden.com/showthread.php?t=170132

I have just spent the longest month of my life hopelessly stuck in a WRITER'S BLOCK, so this might not be my best work, but at least it is something so I can get going again...please crit or compliment...thanks.



Locked Doors

Within this city,
in all its syphilis and smog infested glory,
there exists seas of car headlights
creeping slowly in the darkness
and imposing rows
of rectangular, sleek buildings,
each representing
a set of locked doors,
openings and passageways
that have been unnaturally
bolted and clicked shut
because the young and wild have gone crazy
for the things that may be inside
and the mature and cautious have grown terrified
of who might be lurking outside.

[juckwin]

too short for me... good, but i think it should have been longer... didn't think you reached your point in this one... nice start though to get past the block

[Def Poet]

it's not your best, but it's not bad, you'll get out of that block fam. i just got out of mines not to long ago.

[SuNsHiNe_BLuE]

i like the idea u propose in this one, tho its not ur best...i would take the 2nd half of this and work it a little more it has potential to be a great one IMO

[~BLUEPRINT~]

yea i agree with my fellow poets on this...nice strive to move thru your block....but not your best of work....

[brodch01]

the last four lines reveal the best concept in the piece, the execution needs work... regardless, i liked it...