Vision

[RightSideDark]

http://slumz.boxden.com/showthread.php?t=162085



Vision

Images riding tides of wind
Apparent now as I descend
My likeness on pale crude skin
Opposite what hides within
Mirrors lie to weary eyes
Reflections show are clearly mine
I’m merely here, yet un-divine
Thru definitions that man designed
I know not evil and know not good
I know only what you think I should
You teach me more, and show me less
Revelations which are hardly blessed
Gazing up at my future selves
Whispering secrets I’d never tell
Concealed by faith shared by few
Waiting in hopes conceived by two
Water explores each rock it finds
Knowledge we will learn in time
Vivid dreams of onyx black
Vibrant thru the colors lack
Fastened orbs that joins in site
Yet the left can never see the right
I see for both, and show them things
That can never be seen thru colored rings

[~BLUEPRINT~]

What?.....*reads again*......Huh?.......*shrugs shoulders*.....no clue where you are going with this at all.....the poem gets annoying b/c you are trying to force rhymes.....when if you just ran with the idea behind this piece and just collaborated your thoughts better this could have turned out better....rather than taking a turn for the worse....not feeling this either.....4/10

[R.A.R.E.]

nice try homie...I see for both, and show them things
That can never be seen thru colored rings
explain please?

[RightSideDark]

The entire piece was about not believing only what your eyes show you and what is visible on the surface to be the truth. The last four lines were about not trusting it but instead using your mind and heart to find what’s real and what isn't by first showing that you are aware of the deception.

And to respond to Blu, thanks for responding to all the poems that I have posted so far even though you haven't cared for any of them. If you did not get the meaning of the poem as a whole, I completely understand. I purposely create my poetry in that fashion. I also completely understand that some people do not like it. But as this poem implies, not all things are apparent through a quick glance of the surface. I probably will not post anymore since very few members reading them have anything good to say, which means I am wasting my time and theirs. For that I apologize.

[diamond diva]

hey keep on doing your poetry thing posting up and everything dont mind blue hes the simon of the forum. you get props for posting and the poem was good i mean i dont think its your best, but you seem like you have the potential, believe me speaking from experience I went through the same thing when I first started posting

[RightSideDark]

I appreciate all the feedback. Good and bad. Thanks for reading everyone.