5

[brodch01]

http://slumz.boxden.com/showthread.php?=1381533&posted=1#post1381533



Old Money


Men hide treasures by day,
which by night they have squandered,
The light they have tricked
leaves their brides nearly scattered;

In turning to fight their
opponents seem winded,
Their minds they assume
aloft finally landed
And so spinning they end
in some madness unbridled.

[~BLUEPRINT~]

what is with these 5 and 6 line poems....not enough material to even grasp what you are tryna relay......not feeling this....3/10

[brodch01]

the singular purpose of modern american poetry may be to say as much as you can in as few stanzas, lines, even words as possible... maybe thats the difficulty you were having seeing the disparity between prose and poem... youre one of the better poets on here, but your style obviously tilts toward the explicit, mine toward the abstract... anyway, since i sound like an a**hole right now, i appreciate the critz, but try and read the over my sh*t a few times and see if you can give me more than just styalistic feedback... good looks though...

[~BLUEPRINT~]

nah you dont sound like an a**hole, its just it almost seems like when you crit something its almost as if you arent open to different kinds of poem....lots of us have an unorthodox style but we learn to accept it for what it is....feel me....I admire you honesty and your guidance.....1

[LordMason DaRula]

i feel u man maybe i am use to my style and u are use to urs... but just keep diplayin ya work that all thats counts....

[~BLUEPRINT~]

couldnt be better said^^^^^