4 - Abstract Thoughts - Boxden Articles

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brodch01

01-12-2005, 04:02 PM

http://slumz.boxden.com/showthread.php?t=152722

Memory Lane

I could not
should have
Overstood our mental state
the twisting of two
Toward our physical fate

Draw from no passed addiction
past fixed in
What your touch has been

Contemplate what will
compensate
Old Companion
new compassion
Minds weak
wont remain standing

Thoughts incompacitated
remain fascinated
Flame tasted

Enough time wasted

~BLUEPRINT~

01-12-2005, 09:18 PM

i dont know where you are trying to go or what direction your are taking this poem but it took me to a cliff where I jumped off rather than falling off....feel me....I think the fact that you have a bit more conservative style takes away from the emotional aspect of the poem....not feeling this drop.....3/10

THE_MD

01-13-2005, 11:04 AM

Kinda left me hanging.... there's more in there... let it out