God,find my lost soul..

[Dee]

I say you watching a ghost walking in front of you now/My life nothing but a memory because I feel I have lost which everything that was my life/My future vanishes in thin air,life is not fair/Trapped inside a mental cage/my emotions suddenly transform into rage/Kind of like a beast with a chain/Frustration is what I am now because I'm have nothing to lose/No way to gain/Options are none/So I run but where to run?I've falling and falling into this hole/God,find this lost soul......

[LordMason DaRula]

thx for the critique, but umm this piece str8, kinda lagged off for a bit but i understood where u tryin to go wit it so it cool to me, some ppl might say this wasnt too great, but fu*k the hata's do you, and always try to improve on ya game ~1

[aplus]

I think you do a good job here in giving us the feeling of being lost like you...if I would suggest any improvments, it would be to lose the cliches..."trapped in a cage" and "beast and a chain" are image that people have heard in the past. I would say you could come up with some new image we have never heard and it would make this stronger. That said, I enjoyed this piece, drop more if you got it...